So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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