Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize