just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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