This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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