btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
