So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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