do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize