Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
