Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
