This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
