hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
