i just wanna soil my oats bro
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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