I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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