If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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