Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
