I wish I could teleport
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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