I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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