Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize