Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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