Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
