my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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