Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
