I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
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i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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