I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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