Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
