he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Barsexuality is the new black.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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