Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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