I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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