Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
