come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
