im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
