nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The uberlube is also flammable
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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