He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dear god my vagina.
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