youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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