He is an equal opportunity slut.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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