i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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