the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
nutella sex= disaster
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What drink are we having for lunch?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
