somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
