Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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