i may or may not be watching the land before time
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize