Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
