24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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