I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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