Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wear drunk well.