You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.