Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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