You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize