so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.