I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper