she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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