My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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