just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
