Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
