i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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