There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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