at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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