HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
