he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize