I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
