i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
