I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This is the prime rib incident all over again
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Are we still banned from the library?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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