No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
